Published: Thursday, 31 May 2018

The latest wheeze by Canal & River Trust to gain interest in it's canals by claiming they promote happiness reminds me of that great comedian Ken Dodd, writes Tom Crossley.

His signature tune was 'Happiness' and he was a very funny man, but this scheme is not funny it is bloody hilarious!

CrpBoatsBir2Improve your life satisfaction!

It tells that ''New independent research published today shows that simply spending time by the waterways can make you happier and improve your life satisfaction, with an equivalent estimated social wellbeing value of £3.8bn per year'.

But how can you measure happiness at visiting a canal? How about a normally morose person? Or perhaps a pleasant one? Who knows? How about a cyclist dashing along the towpath late for work or a boater struggling with a lock or a difficult paddle. Someone caught in the rain? How can their happiness—or obvious lack of it—be assessed?

CampHilFistGraffittiJunk boats and graffiti

And I would not think the many half sunk junk boats or stretches of graffiti that we have recently witnessed would create much happiness, but no doubt whoever is responsible for this nonsense would not of course have been aware.

The whole thing is absolutely preposterous and only shows CaRT clutching at straws in its attempt to promote itself. And I notice that again we are given the usual astronomical numbers so beloved by that organisation.

Like I expect many others, I wonder, what next?